11 Doctors and Dentists Later...

Some great medical quotes:

"You're 1-yr old looks nine months pregnant because she's short. There's no room in her torso for her organs so they stick out."

"12 months is WAY too early for someone to have a food allergy."

"As I said before, I'm concerned your daughter has Dwarfism. I'm referring her to a specialist."

"She doesn't have dwarfism. I think she has Down Syndrome. She looks like a child with Down Syndrome."

"It's perfectly normal for a child to be severely constipated and on medication. Most of my patients with constipation spend their entire childhood on at least one type of laxative."

"You should not be breast-feeding your child after 6 months of age. Your child needs to be on cow's milk right away, there's no nutrients in breast milk after 6 months."

"I purposefully didn't tell you her height and weight. I didn't want you to be concerned. If you must know, I'm quite concerned. Your daughter has shrunk 1 cm since her last appointment. That's why I'm sending her for more tests."

"I have no idea why you would teach your child sign language! All it has done is delay her speech development."

"Oops. Did I forget to put that test on the requisition form again? I remember you specifically asking for that several times before. You must be really mad at me."

"Don't worry, she doesn't need to be on gluten for the celiac test. You just need a stool sample."

"Oops. I don't know why I gave you a req. form for stool, it's supposed to be blood. You need to come back to the office and pick up a new form."

"You definitely need to be consuming gluten before a celiac test. You need to re-test. Since she's been off gluten for 6 months, make sure she eats gluten for 48-72 hrs before the test."

"That's fine, there's nothing wrong with being on a gluten-free diet before the blood test." (the allergy specialist)

(Note: Celiac specialists recommend 4-6 weeks of gluten if you have gone gluten-free)

"I'm not concerned about the decrease in height from 96th percentile to less than 3rd. But I AM concerned about the fuzz between your child's toes. You need to make sure you remove it before it wraps around the toe and cuts off all circulation. That could be a serious problem."

"I've seen a lot of eczema and this is a very severe case. Here are four different corticosteroid creams for all the different parts of your child's body. I wouldn't worry about why he has this, just make sure that every time it erupts to put on the creams."

(Dentist #2)
"I'm a pediatric dentist. No, technically I don't have a degree in pediatric dentistry but I do treat a lot of children so I can say I'm a specialist."

"These are Bottle Caries. I know you SAY you never gave her a bottle but these are definitely cavities from bottle feeding. I see this all the time and know exactly what it is. We need to give her fillings."

"No, it's not dental enamel deterioration and it couldn't be from celiac disease. It would be on all of her teeth. These are from bottle feeding."

(Dentist #3 - an amazing pediatric specialist)
"These are definitely NOT bottle feeding cavities. This is a gene sequencing problem which has caused severe dental enamel deterioration. We need to give her fake teeth over her teeth. Because they are primary teeth, fillings would just keep falling out."

"I see this a lot in children with celiac disease. It may not be that but it's a possibility."